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Zelda - Action and Monsters

Jurassic Park (Book)

You know, at times like this one I feel, well, perhaps extinct animals should be left extinct.

Hi!

Hello?

Can you hear me?

This is Zelda speaking. I’m back! The Writer said I get to review the book with all of the dinosaurs. Although it was written as a thriller by the late and great Michael Crichton, it has some truly terrifying and downright horrific moments guaranteed to scare the fur off of any feline.

I’m just looking at my poster of Rexy on the wall…

Personally, I like the raptors. They’re a lot like cats but with larger claws and a pack mentality. My parents even call me their little velociraptor because of my hunting instincts and loud yowling!

So, here’s some background on the book. Jurassic Park was published in 1990 and emerged as a cautionary tale about the dangers of genetic engineering at a time when such fields were rapidly gaining ground – Does anyone remember the controversy over Dolly the sheep in 1996?

Crichton was a hard science fiction writer and wrote many novels decrying the use of science for profit, and especially for entertainment. The danger present in Jurassic Park comes from science being exploited and not well-understood, and the villains are ruthless capitalists interested in cutting corners and profiting as much as possible.

As a cat, I don’t always understand these subjects, but The Writer says they are scary. I like the dinosaurs. A lot of people get eaten alive!

So let’s check out what happens!

I bet I could take it…

The Plot

The actual book plot of Jurassic Park is different from the movie everyone knows and loves. Everything begins in 1989, when strange animal attacks occur in Costa Rica. Scientists are unable to identify the remains of a captured specimen and call in paleontologist Alan Grant and his grad student Ellie Sattler to figure it out. However, they are intercepted by Hammond, who asks them to come see his ‘biological preserve’ off the coast.

As it turns out, the biological preserve is Jurassic Park. Hammond has paid the finest scientists in the world to recreate genetic codes by pulling dinosaur blood from fossilized mosquitos and fill in the gaps with reptilian, avian, and amphibian DNA. He plans to create a theme park of dinosaurs, heavily funded by the Japanese, to become even wealthier.

However, Hammond has definitely spared some expenses. He is relying on a single man to run the technology of the park, and Dennis Nedry is easily enticed by an offer for millions from a rival company. During a tour of the park, which is supposed to placate Hammond’s investors, Nedry turns off the power and fences and tries to steal the dinosaur DNA.

What happens next is hundreds of pages of absolute horror as the dinosaurs break loose. People are ripped in half, eaten alive, blinded only to have their organs ripped out, and trapped in buildings being torn apart by hungry monstrosities. To make matters worse, the dinosaurs are breeding and escaping to the mainland, where they terrorize Costa Rica. The only way the world will be safe is if Jurassic Park’s survivors can destroy the raptor nests, recall a boat full of dinosaurs, and call in international assistance.

The Review

As a book, Jurassic Park took the world by storm long before it became a movie. There are many reasons why. Aside from bringing every child’s favorite creatures back to life, it is a creative example of hard science fiction filled with haunting themes – including the use of science driven by greed and capitalism.

Crichton made sure to do his research, and there is a wealth of sources and a massive bibliography at the end of the book to back up much of the genetics discussed in the story. While some elements are impossible – such as blood surviving preserved in a mosquito’s digestive system in amber – the possibility of bringing an extinct creature back to life is very real.

Maybe this is where dinosaurs and saber-tooth tigers belong…

Aside from the science, most of the characters are great. Grant is curious, intelligent, and resourceful. Sattler is daring, also intelligent, and proves a paleobotanist can be a badass. Hammond is everyone’s favorite sleazy corporate executive, and Muldoon is exactly who we would want on our side when a monster breaks loose – He had an RPG for crying out loud!

There are definitely some clunky moments. Malcolm, for example, is extremely annoying and lacks the charm of Jeff Goldblum. The plot extends longer than it should. Sometimes the dinosaurs behave more like monsters than animals.

Still, this is an amazing story with dark themes and plenty of scary moments to keep you humans awake at night. Even I got a little scared thinking about the idea of someone bringing back my ancestors…can you imagine a saber-toothed tiger running around?

I’m biased. In terms of story, themes, and execution, I give the story 5/5 Paws. Jurassic Park revolutionized many elements of science fiction and spawned a successful franchise in addition to rekindling the love of dinosaurs. While some of the characters are annoying and passages can be clunky, these flaws do not detract from the overall presentation and message.

Plus, dinosaurs.

Come on, there’s two T-rexes!

And firebombing!

From a non-existent Costa Rican air force….

But still!

Can I have my treat now?

Hello?

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Dagon (2001)

No one leave Imboca. People come, but no one leave.

Why do you people always make me do the water ones? Just because H.P. Lovecraft had a phobia of fish doesn’t mean every Lovecraftian story has to take place in or near the sea. Well, except this one since it’s, you know, Dagon.

This is Flint, back again to enjoy the madness. The Good Doctor even gave me a new hat to celebrate Spooktober.

I’m spooktacular. Worship me.

Dagon is a 2001 Spanish film originally released in Spain and available in three languages: Spanish, Galician, and English. As the name suggests, it draws heavily from cosmic horror and the stories of its creator, Mr. Lovecraft.

However, despite the film’s title, it’s important to note the movie has little to do with the actual story “Dagon” and is more similar to “The Shadow over Innsmouth.” The plot is adapted to fit in the Spanish countryside, and the name of the town is Imboca, a literal translation of the English Innsmouth.

Dagon is considered one of the best film adaptions of an H.P. Lovecraft story, and it is easy to see why. Despite being traumatized by some scenes, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

So just what is the creepy town of Imboca? Who are our characters? And do we get to see any monstrosities along the way?

Read on to find out.

The Plot

The plot can be hard to follow when first watching the film as there are several dreams, flashbacks, and characters that viewers need to become accustomed to. However, the basic premise is simple. Paul Marsh is a successful businessman vacationing off the coast of Spain with his girlfriend, Barbara, and their two friends Howard and Vicki.

A sudden storm crashes the ship and forces Paul and Barbara into a lifeboat, where they reach the town of Imboca. There, they find the town remarkably deserted and are only able to locate a priest, who finds two fishermen to take Paul back to the ship to rescue the trapped Howard and Vicki. The pair are, surprisingly, missing, and so is Barbara when Paul returns.

While waiting in a dilapidated and disgusting hotel, Paul dreams of a sharp-toothed mermaid. When he wakes, he must flee because the building is surrounded by half-human, half-fish hybrids eager for his blood. He encounters a tannery full of human skins and then takes shelter with Ezequiel, a drunkard and the last full human in town.

Things only get worse from there. Ezequiel reveals the inhabitants of Imboca traded their humanity to Dagon in exchange for prosperity and have become his cult. Men are killed for blood sacrifices, and the women are raped by Dagon and forced to birth icthyic offspring. These were the fates of Howard and Vicki, the latter of which commits suicide.

Trust me, it is not a roaring good time…

Over the last hour of the film, Paul learns he is one of the descendants of Dagon – his mother having been brutally raped but escaping – and has been betrothed to his mermaid half-sister, Uxia. Uxia informs him they must marry and Barbara must bear Dagon’s offspring.

Ultimately, things do not end well for anybody, despite Paul setting many people on fire. Barbara dies, Ezequiel is skinned alive, and Paul lives forever underwater with his sister and an eldritch abomination.

The Review

Listen. I love tuna, but Dagon has made me reconsider my preferences. This film is not for the squeamish because there are tons of graphic violence, unnerving material, and Nihilistic themes. However, it touches upon some crucial Lovecraftian literary ideas which are often lacking in other movies and even many written adaptations of the mythos.

Incest. Degeneracy. Horrifying things human and feline were not meant to know.

Luckily, it left out a lot of the nastier subjects, including the virulent racism, prejudice, and sexism.

This is the first movie we the felines have reviewed, but it is a cult classic and a favorite for the Writer this time of year. The actors know they are in a cheesy, ooey gooey film and deliver their lines with a combination of sincerity and good humor. The set is glorious in how it depicts disrepair and decrepitude, and many scenes are difficult to watch because of how horrifying they are.

Paul, the protagonist, is a bit of a milquetoast and a lukewarm protagonist, but does anyone actually watch a horror movie for someone besides the villain? He also redeems himself in the end by setting himself and many others on fire with kerosene. Sadly, it does not last.

I have also never had as much sympathy for a human as I did for Vicki and Barbara. What horrible fates. Hentai may be popular, but does anyone actually want to be violated by a terrifying eldritch tentacle monster?

I DON’T.

I give Dagon 4/5 Paws. I want to give it 5, but certain parts of the movie drag on and some of the dialogue is difficult to hear. However, and I do not say this lightly, I would gladly watch it again and again.

Now would somebody please get me a towel? And some nip? I need to forget what I’ve seen. Wait, what do you mean I need another bath? No. No!

Please help me….
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Spooktober!

We the cats have decreed the Writer needs to start submitting reviews again now that the dangerous “cor-en-tine” thing has been lifted. When would be a better time to write about spooky, scary stories than during the month of October?

Starting on the 15th, we’re going to be posting one review a day to count down to our favorite holiday. Why is it our favorite? Because we get more treats!

If you have a book, story, or even a movie you want to see reviewed, feel free to comment below. Otherwise, you will have to read based on our whims!

We’re excited to be back and writing. Here is Flint practicing his best “scared” face.

(The Writer says we have to tell you Flint is not being harmed in this photo. He just doesn’t like baths)