What happens when John Wick turns out to be a cat and encounters Hitman 47? Chances are it would turn out something like The Cat from Hell by Stephen King.
First published in Gent in 1977, The Cat from Hell is a fast-paced short story centered on Halston, a hitman for hire who has been summoned by an elderly client to murder an unusual target: A cat. Strangely, the cat is even living in the old man’s mansion, which was bought using a fortune made in pharmaceuticals.
This half-black, half-white cat settles in Halston’s lap while the old man, Drogan, launches into some good old-fashioned exposition. Everyone else in the house has died in ‘accidents’ over the last few months, each one simple and understandable.
His sister perished by tripping and falling down the stairs. His ex-lover died when the cat fell asleep on her chest and smothered her already emphysema-stricken lungs. Perhaps the worst was the death of Dick Gage, the servant. He died in a 60 mph car accident while trying to bring the feline to the vet to put it down. His burned body was pulled from the wreckage with scratches all over the face.
Halston, naturally, doesn’t believe any of the stories and agrees to take the contract. He loses numerous points in my eyes for being willing to commit such a horrible crime, but he gains a couple for having fondness for felines and their adventurous, murderous tendencies:
“God – if there was one – had made them into perfect, aloof killing machines.”
Halston’s death is naturally horrific as he becomes paralyzed in a 70 mph hour car accident and is then murdered by the cat launching itself into his mouth and ripping him open from the inside.
Do I agree with the hit cat’s actions? Yes and no.
Why is the cat killing everyone around Drogan? Because Drogan experimented and murdered over 15,000 cats trying to create a miracle drug for humans. Why must our lives be seen as lesser than that of the bipedal beasts? Why must we suffer so you can enjoy more comfort? Why are we always making sacrifices so you can…
…Sorry, Writer.
Back to the review.
This hit cat offends my senses of decency by launching itself into someone’s mouth, but it is certainly a creative kill method. Extra points for innovation.
Is the story creative?
Definitely. Do the humans think we don’t have hit cats? Of course we do! And it’s about time they get the recognition they deserve.
Is the story engaging?
More or less. The majority of the writing is magazine backstory, but things really pick up in the final few pages when Halston realizes he made a grave error. Plus, the entire story is told from Halston’s perspective, and he loves cats and treats the hit cat like a worthy enemy, even when it gains the upper hand.
Halston earns major bro points.
Could I see the ending coming?
Well, I guessed Halston was going to die, but never in such a gruesome way.
As a sensitive girl, I could never pull off such an act. But we cats need our own heroes, and who better than a vigilante hit cat willing to avenge his fallen brothers and sisters?
The Writer suspects I might be willing to smother her in her sleep if she forgets to feed me at 5 am, but I could never do that.
I just sleep on her pillow to “cuddle” her and slowly suffocate her with my tail.
Overall, I would give this King short story 4/5 Paws. It’s short and uses a ton of exposition, but it still manages to remain entertaining up until the end and finishes with a hook – the cat is headed back to the mansion to finish off his final hit.
Feline Fright Fest 